A relatively quiet week across the board, yet chaotic in a way. You ever have those moments where a lot is going on around you, yet inside yourself you feel time is moving slow? That is how I am feeling right now. There is only four weeks left in this summer semester. While other classmates may be taking four classes, or preparing for life after the program, I’m here not even thinking of school. Not in a senioritis way right now, but thinking of life after the program as well; just not job-wise per se.
Lately I’ve had the urge to move. As prior posts will tell you, I dream to travel and such. But the city I grew up in and called home for over 25 years, suddenly feels different. I can’t explain it, but it’s one of those things where deep down in your heart you know: it is time for a change. A fresh start. The idea of moving to a new city, meet completely new people, explore new places, and experience new things is enticing. No, I’m not running from anything I’m aware of, but rather accepting what my adolescent-self has always wanted; to spread my wings and fly. Though I love my family and friends, I’ve always felt different from them. It’s actually great to have friends who are different and can help you grow in many ways, but what I mean is passions and priorities have never truly matched with many. See growing up, I was mostly around older adults, and that had an effect on me. I was never into the party, clubbing, binge drinking lifestyle that many in my teens to 20’s range enjoyed doing. Everytime I wanted to do a roadtrip or outdoor adventure, few would be up for it. . . until it came time to commit. Always remember, everyone else has their priorities, and if theirs doesn’t match yours that is okay. Just don’t sit around waiting for them to change; focus on you and your happiness. Even if that means doing things on your own sometimes.
When I was a kid, I had tv shows and video games to keep me content. Yet as I grow up, I found myself less and less attracted to those things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a little bit of a nerd and like some shows, but wow am I out of touch with what is popular today. I have never watched Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, and probably whatever else is trendy. Growing up without cable does things to you. I don’t have Netflix, but did years ago. I did binge a few times, but they have to be shows that really interest me. To be honest, even if someone gets me to watch these popular shows, I may be sporadic in how often I watch them. Where was I going with this point? Oh yes, so sometimes I do things on my own. Either my friends are playing their video games, staying home watching tv, doing couples things, raising kids, etc. their priorities are different. It can also be due to money, time and such which is understandable. Do you folks remember me saying I once thought about doing a Youtube channel? Well two of my friends created one for us three to do. It’ll mostly be gaming though, and while a part of me is excited to see where this goes, another part of me wonders how long I would be able to do it.
I will be graduating come December, and though a part of me wants to take a year off and backpack, I feel I should knock out the internship part of my career first; which is like a year and a half. That doesn’t mean I can’t move elsewhere though to do it. So far, perhaps two class friends know I would like to travel/move. I guess this means you fellow readers know more than my friends! Haha it’s not because I don’t keep them in the loop, it’s just right now it’s still in the thought-stage; nothing is set in stone even though I have my chisel ready. Aside from the Youtube channel, I also would like to write a book about the people I have come across in my life. Kind of like that book about the 5 people you meet in heaven sort of thing, it would be about the people who had a big influence on me. Appreciation is hard to see nowadays when you think about it. Complacency and being settled can make one forget how great one might have life right now. Take time to tell your loved ones how much you’re glad to have them in your life or whatever you’d like; just let them know you appreciate all that they’ve done. . . or maybe put up with.
See, we all have a choice. Even in crappy situations, we do have a choice. It’s just overcoming the fear of the unknown. An example would be the program I’m in right now. There are plenty of folks I have met, and got to know, who I can tell are not happy in their relationships. As much as we want to help someone, we must realize it’s their choice to stay or leave; for they made the choice to start. Perhaps you can relate to this example in some way. Happiness comes from within, but what we bring to others is another powerful “H”: hope. Maybe I’ll dive into that topic another time, but the point I’m trying to make is what this photo right here says. Whether it’s moving, traveling, relationships, career switch, or whatever else it will be scary; especially if you go at it alone. But don’t let it get in the way of being happy. Take a leap of faith. With school, the app, this Youtube channel, possibly a book, upcoming start of my career, potentially moving away, and whatever else life throws at me soon, you bet I’m a bit scared. Yet I know these are things that I will take on, and hopefully it will lead me to where I want to be. I don’t know about my family, but I’m sure most of my friends will inspire hope that I can succeed. I love them all. Yet as mentioned before, there are a lot of other people we have yet to meet and soon I think it’s time I did and experience new things. Remember, we all have a choice. . .