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secret rendezvous

I love the way he looks lying next to me

So handsome, strong, yet calming

I hardly see him but that’s fine

He’s more enjoyable than my husband


As I lay here in the hotel

Right when the sun starts setting

It’s almost time for me to leave

Back into my perfect life lie

While he sleeps before class


I wish he was stable

Nice job, house, everything

I would leave to be with him

I wouldn’t do what I’m doing now

Never marry much older and for money

Then again I do love the nice things


I wasn’t always like this

I had butterflies in my stomach

I got excited for the dates

For the first kiss, the first night

I was innocently loving love

Then I had my child


Don’t get me wrong I love my boy

I had him at such a young age though

I lost what I wasn’t ready to lose

And I had to do what I had to do

To survive and live well for us

And so came the middle-aged man


I’m not the only one out there

Many old fools thinking they can keep up

Older men and women trying to buy our love

Shit, it worked for me

He is a nice man I will admit

But oh so different in all aspects

In the end it truly was a matter of when, not if


As I look out the window pondering

I think of stability and happiness

Why the hell do we settle?

We wisely age, yet fall for the same trap

Especially the old chasing the young

Living desolate lives leads to desire

We’ll do anything for excitement again


Nine years in this marriage

I don’t know how much longer

Until that damn prenup haunts me

Everyone around knows why I married

Unlike others who dig for wealth

I’m not fully heartless here

For my son I stayed till now

He’s the reason I even exist


Life’s truly not all sunshine

The greatest irony is myself

I faked happiness for old, money and stability

Yet here I am with a man 11 years younger

Wondering quietly if he’s doing the same with me. . .

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