I love the way he looks lying next to me
So handsome, strong, yet calming
I hardly see him but that’s fine
He’s more enjoyable than my husband
As I lay here in the hotel
Right when the sun starts setting
It’s almost time for me to leave
Back into my perfect life lie
While he sleeps before class
I wish he was stable
Nice job, house, everything
I would leave to be with him
I wouldn’t do what I’m doing now
Never marry much older and for money
Then again I do love the nice things
I wasn’t always like this
I had butterflies in my stomach
I got excited for the dates
For the first kiss, the first night
I was innocently loving love
Then I had my child
Don’t get me wrong I love my boy
I had him at such a young age though
I lost what I wasn’t ready to lose
And I had to do what I had to do
To survive and live well for us
And so came the middle-aged man
I’m not the only one out there
Many old fools thinking they can keep up
Older men and women trying to buy our love
Shit, it worked for me
He is a nice man I will admit
But oh so different in all aspects
In the end it truly was a matter of when, not if
As I look out the window pondering
I think of stability and happiness
Why the hell do we settle?
We wisely age, yet fall for the same trap
Especially the old chasing the young
Living desolate lives leads to desire
We’ll do anything for excitement again
Nine years in this marriage
I don’t know how much longer
Until that damn prenup haunts me
Everyone around knows why I married
Unlike others who dig for wealth
I’m not fully heartless here
For my son I stayed till now
He’s the reason I even exist
Life’s truly not all sunshine
The greatest irony is myself
I faked happiness for old, money and stability
Yet here I am with a man 11 years younger
Wondering quietly if he’s doing the same with me. . .
Novatourist 