This past weekend was the first in a while where I could relax a bit, and enjoy life. So I went to a concert I was looking forward to. . . Alone. I went by myself because, as usual when you get older, it gets harder for friends to be able to find time or money to go with you to things. I won’t lie, for me in particular, it gets tiring and I wonder if it’d be easier for me to just stop the invites and do things on my own again. I keep holding out hope that once school is done, jobs are promoted, then many would have more time to spend time with each other.
As mentioned in another post, I did talk to strangers that night. But again, others will usually think intentions are at play instead of just chatting. That and it really is tough to break that circle of friends who know each other already. I recently bought a ticket to a concert way out in May, but I only bought a ticket for one. Which subconsciously told me two things: I somewhat know where I will be living come next year, and that I don’t have many (if any) friends who have much similar interests as I. I’m usually convincing them to try new things. The question is. . . where do I go then?
I talked about it being time for change, and that I really want to move. Dominoes will start to fall in November in terms of career choices and searches. But in terms of living situation, I won’t be leaving my state for at least two more years. Unless I drop everything and maybe teach English in a country like Spain or Greece; which I’ve thought about. More than likely, I’ll either move to another part of town and focus on myself or I’ll move to another city about an hour away and try to start over socially. As I see my old middle school buds start to settle into their relationships, and my old high school friends just starting their path, I find myself similar to those in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s: having spare time and wanting to explore. Hence why being an old soul pays off, because wherever my fellow 20’s folk are at who love adventures I just can’t seem to find them at all. Then again, I’m not really a bar or club type of person.
To those who have read my posts, and this one, are probably stating the obvious: Steven, you need to fly off and adventure on your own. I know, but it’s hard to tell a bird to fly and expect them to want to come back. I once said, I could easily pack a bag and go, but will I want to come back? Home has never really felt like home for such a long time if I’m being honest; like something’s missing. There are two types of people: those who have a close friends and a several acquaintances, and those who have many acquaintances and hardly any friends. Maybe it’s time I became the latter. My dream job would be to simply be paid to travel, and you all know they exist (looking at you famous Instagram people who get paid to take photos). If I go on trips, it won’t be for a few days. I read travel bloggers, and wonder how do they get fatigued? I get traveling can be exhausting, but every day is a new adventure. Heck, if they are getting tired, let me take over for a bit. I’ll be more than happy to!
Anyways, tonight is my final night of volleyball. Playoffs! Hopefully we do well, it was fun and a learning experience for me off the court. As internship keeps chugging along, and winter fast approaches, I still have many things on my mind. This small rant being one of them. But life is strange, and things happen for a reason. All I know is that things are indeed coming soon. I don’t know what it is, but it appears it will have to be mostly on my own for now.
Novatourist 