So the time has come finally. One way or another I survived O-Chem 1. Yesterday was the makeup exam, in which the lowest grade may get replaced if this makeup grade is higher. It has been a whirlwind experience doing a complete 180 in terms of learning. To go from handling people on an emotional level, back to molecular and organic studies. . . the brain is so interesting. When I started back in January, I thought nothing of rest; I just jumped straight into it. But by March, when many of the classmates formed cliques, I felt exhausted and dreaded going to class. People say they prefer the labs compared to the lectures, but I honestly hate them; at least chemistry ones. I loved anatomy labs, but chemistry I simply don’t. The dentist was right about how it’s a matter of getting through these courses. For me, I’ll take the C if that’s my fate.
There’s no denying I’m not the brightest bulb when compared to other pre-med students. Some work in the field already, others simply get straight A’s. What I do have is what often times gets overlooked: people skills. I wish that was measured when applying to grad school. Extracurriculars aren’t a great indicator as some just do it for the sake of padding that resume. But as I watched some dental students last week not show much personality when dealing with patients, and my fellow classmates in terms of being warm to others, I can’t help but notice that. When I did my Master’s, I knew I would be the Patch Adams of the cohort, but I’m starting to think maybe that’s who I will be in this field too.
That’s if I go down this road. Depending on the outcome of this class, I’ll be thinking during the summer about staying the course. As much as I can see myself doing this, I really would hate to lose time. I already explained it in the last post but if I already feel out of touch with the world and friends now. . . imagine if I get accepted. We are creatures of habit and I think about if the trend continues well to my near 40’s what I’ll be by then. What I mean by all of this is life expectancy; life stages. If I have kids, I don’t want to be an older parent like over 42. My parents had me at an older age, and luckily I was not a rebellious, bad teenager. But imagine if I was? In my 60’s dealing with the stress of parenting teens. I should be enjoying life by then. Highly doubt I would date in med school, as all the focus should be on studying. They say med school can be very tough on relationships to begin with. So take a guy who’s never been in a long-term serious relationship on this journey, and pop him out into his late 30’s. . . creatures of habit. Will I ever want a relationship then? I’m well on my way to turning into the next George Clooney and getting married in my late 50’s! *facepalms thinking about all my friends who would hate seeing me still single by then*
Yes, I overthink my life, but when you had to worry about what would happen next in your life since you were a child it becomes natural to plan ahead and be prepared. I’ve met classmates who are older, have the family and all, and are now resuming the chase to medicine careers; although a little different since they can’t commit the time like back then. And I see the strain it has on them, but they know what they are doing. I still enjoy life now, and so I must think in the summer what I truly want to do. People say do it while your still young, but they fail to see the effects it will have. As if it can be easily remedied down the road. Well, I have my bike, I want to buy a skateboard, and I’m still chasing that ever elusive dog I want. Concerts are coming up, starting next Wednesday, as I await the final exam next week. I miss my friends and I want to travel so badly. . . I have much on my plate to think about, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I was simply care-free, I doubt I would get much done in life. I’m truly thankful for the special people in my life that try to be there for me. I’ll make it up to them some way, some how. . .