It’s been about a week since the semester ended, and it would seem that it’s best to retake this course to improve my grade. I’m proud that I made it through, but damn I hate retaking courses. Yes, I’m “young” by society standards with no family or much responsibility to worry about but we all forget one thing: time moves incredibly fast. I say the same thing in regards to weight. You gain 5 pounds here, another 5 there, 10 isn’t too bad, and then before you know it you’re 25 pounds heavier! Same with time in that 6 months here, and there, and before you know it several years have passed.
I will always be forever torn on careers, as there is no one true path I feel destined in; besides traveling. Even then, the odds of me getting a travel show are slim to none. I am on the verge of applying for my passport once my birth certificate arrives. In October, I fly out to Florida for a mini-vacation. A concert tonight, and being able to do things I never got to do much while in school. Maybe I’m having a late quarter-life crisis, or maybe it’s my subconscious trying to be heard but my conscious is saying how the heck are we going to do that?! The point is I feel better at the moment knowing I can live a little. Something I can’t do if I keep doing this.
You can always travel and do things when you’re older, which is true. But talking with my best friend recently about this, we both know that there is no certainty in life except the moment we’re in right now. I may not be alive 5 years from now, or I may live to 90 years old. But I’m not one to put my dreams on the back-burner if I’m able to do it now. In my parent’s world, you save now and wait till your retired to enjoy life. While I am saving on the side, I’m vastly different from them. They fear the world and enjoy this little bubble. I wanted to pop out of mine since I was a teen, but I never knew anyone else with similar desires. The world will not wait for me to turn 45, and I cannot wait for the world.
I always envied those group of friends who took road trips or international trips somewhere; wishing I had similar experiences. But as I get older, I’m starting to think perhaps this journey that I’m on is meant to be solo. A nomad. With friends around the globe I have talked with, I’m working hard to meet them in person. As I said, many people we don’t know exist, yet if we get out of our comfort zones and interact with them, you can meet some amazing people around the world like I have.
No matter what I will have a career that involves using my hands and helping people; not being behind a desk all day crunching numbers. The choice is either take one that pays “okay” or continue trying to study to have better pay but more hours. They both will fulfill my soul in terms of knowing I’m making a difference in some way, but the latter I’ll lose time/friends/experiences and whatever else. However, since I have nothing to worry about in regards to significant other/children/debt, as well as my friends going on their own path in which I rarely see them. . . I’m currently on my own, physically, with nothing holding me back. And I know others out there have harder lives and decisions they are facing, so I am appreciative of where I am now. Where I’m going remains to be seen. . .