It’s been raining here for quite some days, with the next couple of days providing a break from the clouds. Certainly is humid and hot, which I did not miss one bit. However, yesterday was one of those “strange feeling” sort of days. First I only got about 4 hours of sleep, and I’m not sure why as I feel nothing was on my mind. Then again maybe it was subconscious. The day was cloudy with spots of heavy rain, so I watched a movie. . . The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I haven’t seen that movie in several years, but was instantly reminded how much I loved it; as well as why I crush on Cate Blanchett. It gave me Big Fish vibes where we’re in a world blended with reality and imagination. Literal and metaphorical.
How we make with what we have in life, and do as best as we can. Because one way or another, we age backwards and forwards. We triumph and make mistakes, and we are always learning about everything. The movie takes place during the midst of a hurricane, and near the end the rain fell harder where I lived. That’s when that strange feeling occurred. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like you sense something is about to happen and you’re not alone out there going through it. I’ve talked about change lately, but that was hopeful, positive change. This was more pessimistic, like a sudden, catch-me-off guard type of expectancy. I would know this because I’ve been through it before, where you feel like something is off around you; or will be soon. I’m not hiding or dreading it, because we all have good days and bad. But it has been more of an odd 26th year for me, with more swerves on my road than straight as an arrow.
From finding my place post-graduation, to meeting and saying goodbye to people I know, to family issues, and still awaiting word on my job application, it feels like it’s all culminating to something by year’s end. I say that because the winter holidays (and my birthday) would be the perfect time for change heading into the new year. With planned trips, and all that, I don’t know but to me it makes sense. And this is coming from someone who’s not into “visions” and “prophecy”, but more of a simple gut feeling. Watching that movie, and the atmosphere here at home, reminded me of how when we go back to things we valued, whether it be a movie/family/friend/etc., we are reminded of just how important they were to us and the impact it made on us. Even the ones I briefly met.
So today I’m looking for a traveler’s journal to write about my life; like Benjamin did in the movie. It’s ironic because that was one of the reasons I started this blog. That dear, old friend gave me a small one for my birthday, and I chose to write online instead as a way to help me be more open. What better way than to complete, well almost complete, strangers I don’t know. And it’s helped, but the purpose of this journal is very much in line with why Benjamin wrote his: to give it to someone in mind in the future. To pass along wisdom, and my tale, to someone who will cherish it. Because in this day of technology, and short-term investment, we lose sight of what’s important and what to hold on to. Only when we leave it, and come back much later do we see. And we also notice all the changes as well; both around us, and within. . .