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Onwards in the Fog

After what felt like eternity again, this morning I finally got word about the job interview I had. . . The position was filled by someone else. I had a hunch not because of the time it took, but literally the day before I got emails from the same place telling me I was rejected for two other jobs I applied for. It’s still cold and rainy here, which feels like it’s been weeks of this. I guess this is how Seattle feels? I won’t lie, my mood kinda dropped reading that. In December, it will be a year since I graduated and I still haven’t been able to find some sort of niche for myself. Many others have, but as I talked about I’m trying to take a slightly different path; and I’m seeing how much harder it can be. The reason I’m doing this again is because of saturation and burnout. Almost any career you think of, there will be too many people in that field, so it’s important to stand out in some way. I’m willing to move and picked a field not many others choose, but once you’re in you are basically set and moving up is strong. Others want to go private practice route, but I’ve shadowed such places and it’s not as great as one believes. And to get to that path, one usually takes jobs that has very high caseloads and stress, which I’ve seen people leave the field. I don’t want to hate what I do, and that is helping others.

Yet this persistent thought of travel keeps burning in my mind. It’s like in those movies where the character is lost, and not sure where to go, until something unexpected leads them to what they’re actually supposed to be. I’ve looked at jobs abroad in one area, but what if I’m looking at it all wrong? Of course, the dream would be to simply get paid to travel but goodness there are thousands out there blogging/vlogging/instagramming already. It would take me years to reach a marketable level where companies pay me to venture off. Years ago, I did have this crazy idea to pull a Forrest Gump: pack a bag, buy a camera, and just walk across the country while recording my travels. Solely relying on the kindness of others to give me shelter and a meal. Kind of like a social experiment to see how people treat one another, and if that experiment would be enough for someone to say “this guy’s got adventure and courage to do this. let’s make his dream come true!”. It was mainly here in the U.S., but what if I did that in Europe?

I guess this is what happens when much time has passed trying to start the next chapter of one’s life. And I know others out there probably have been wandering much longer than I have; chasing their own hopes. I’m not giving up, and I’ll be okay. This weekend I’ll be meeting two celebs with friends, and that will be exciting! With my sister more than likely staying put to deliver her baby, that opens my schedule for travel sooner than I thought. I have much to think about but, if I wanted, I could fly early December somewhere. Where, though, I don’t know. I’m lost in this fog, trying to find my way out, yet it’s letting me learn more about myself. A sign to guide me out would be nice, but I’ll figure it out sooner or later. Life finds a way. . .

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