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We made it through midweek, and sadly last night was no different in regards to sleep. I went to bed around 9:45pm, and woke up at 12:30am. Yup. 12:30am. What followed after I don’t really remember. I try to not to look at the clock after the initial waking, and when I do it will read 3:30 or 4:30. So I assume I got some extra sleep in, but after work I caved and got sleeping pills. They should work tonight, however if I recall the last time I took them it only added maybe 2 extra hours of sleep. At this point I’ll take it, because my energy at work needs a jolt. It took an extra hour of driving to get those pills, since traffic is a major pain here in this town. That’s one thing I miss back home; open roads.

I’m honestly surprised I make it through each day with some semblance of energy. Today I pretty much was in sponge mode, where my body is like “just tell me the info and I’ll get back to you when I can”. Is this what medical residents feel like on their long shifts? Right now, I have some energy after dinner but the real action comes at night and whether I can pass out for 7+ hours straight. Work was very quiet today, mostly in the afternoon, so I was alone in my office studying material. Tired Steven semi-loved, semi-hated that since I could’ve fallen asleep in my office. However, in the morning was a little awkward.

I hate using that word, but in this case it’s sort of true. So you might recall I interviewed at a department twice; one last year in October, and one this summer. Both times I didn’t get the job. I ended up getting a job at the same university there. I knew there would be the chance I ran into the people from that department one day. Well. . . today was that day. My coworkers and I went to a session where the speaker discussed ways to improve the dynamic and relationship with students. About halfway through, it occurred to me that they probably are there. When the Q&A began, I turned around to look at someone asking a question and I’m pretty sure I saw the main woman who interviewed me.

Then at the end, they opened the mic to anyone who had an announcement so people were announcing new hires to their department. Guess whose interim director introduced me and the other new hires in our department? Yup, and I was a little embarrassed knowing they would for sure see me. Don’t get me wrong, I knew such a day would come and I’d act cool since I ended up working there anyway. But tired Steven can’t think clearly or be cool like well-rested Steven. Tired me just wants to hide and nap, and maybe eat good food like the tacos they offered there. Well they know, and I’m sure we’ll bump into each other more later this semester. Training phase is officially over, so now I just shadow and study until they feel I’m ready. It all starts with getting rest, and pills please(!!!) work for me tonight. . .

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