Today was a really nice day to be outside. This whole week will be like that. I decided to eat lunch out at one of the tables. I was hoping some of my coworkers would join me, but unfortunately I was left all to my lonesome self. I enjoyed it, nonetheless, as I much prefer being outside than under those office lights. I wasn’t approached by squirrels this time trying to get my food; instead it was birds. Tomorrow I will have a lunch meeting with other people from different departments, but maybe Wednesday I will try again. I’m not giving up on building that rapport with them. One of them I really opened up with today about my life.
As y’all know, I haven’t been feeling 100% for a while due to different little factors that added up fast. Today I talked with my friend at work, and it was difficult for me to open up about everything going on. From the feelings of isolation up here (especially once I get a new car), to not making progress like I hoped I’d make by now, to even my own struggles like family loss around the time I started this job. That last part was the hardest but, you know, talking about things is really beneficial; even if the words struggle to come out of your mouth. I do feel better that at least one person relates to me to some degree. Without that coworker, it would’ve been much tougher to enjoy my time up here since everyone’s been kind of busy.
The volunteer search continues. I still look at other events around this city, and hoping that they’re free or cheap. However, right now, I did just mini-splurged for myself and bought something on Amazon. I finally bought a hammock stand. It should arrive some time next week, and if a new car comes at the same time that would be perfect. I was going to get it eventually, and since my reality will soon be mostly just me I think I deserved to get it finally. I can already picture it sitting on my patio. Cool weather rolling in, and me just enjoying the breeze. Even more perfect will be those cool, rainy afternoons as I swing in my hammock; reading a good book and enjoying the view. Although this new chapter of my life has not been “great”, it’s been “okay” and I’m making the most of that. Even if you feel like you’re alone in what you’re doing, sometimes opening up to someone you don’t know well can be helpful. And you realize that perhaps you’re not as alone on this journey like you think you are. . .