I would’ve typed sooner, but for whatever reason my laptop would not connect to my internet on Wednesday. Thursday, I was honestly tired to type. I had to wake up at 5:00 a.m., get dressed, and drive downtown to the convention center. I had no idea where I would find parking, as I was not familiar with this side of town. Really, I don’t know any part of town besides my route to work and a few shops some miles away. When I reached the parking garage, the gates were still closed; I was that early. But literally right next to the center, I saw a construction worker get in his truck. I wasn’t sure if he was leaving, because he opened his door and did a few things; acting as if he wasn’t going to leave. Isn’t that one of the more annoying things in life? When you’re not sure if someone is leaving a parking spot, or if they’re just sitting in their car taking forever to move. It’s the worst!
So yeah, after making a few turnarounds, including going the wrong way on a one-way street, I saw him finally leave and I swiped that spot. It was literally across the street from the convention entrance. The event was a women’s conference that promoted successful women, and helping women achieve success in their fields. My coworkers and I were there to review resumes. I’m used to looking at college kids’ resumes, but these were professionals with many years of experience. Theirs looked quite different, and luckily I had examples to rely on for help. It was very busy in the morning, but oddly it was quiet in the afternoon. At least, that’s what my coworker told me compared to the year before. Might’ve been due to our location, since last year they were closer to the guest speakers. This year’s speakers were mostly good, even if it was meant for women specifically. I talked to a few vendors, but there were not many catered to me. Everything was mostly for women, and I couldn’t find anything I wanted to buy. Overall though, it was nice to step out of the office and be a part of a big event. I just hope I don’t have to deal with that parking again.
Things have improved since my down day earlier in the week. We’re doing interviews for a new hiree, and I’m excited I won’t be the only one who’s new. In a way, I feel energized by it. But I’m also noticing myself getting better at the tasks I do daily. It’s not as often, because sometimes we get no-shows which slows my ability to practice but I feel like I’m getting to where I want to be. Opening up also helped, and I feel it might’ve brought us closer. With Halloween coming, I can’t wait to be a part of the festivities that the office does yearly. And my supervisor sent me a connection on LinkedIn, so I guess that means I’ll stick around for a while here. I wasn’t strongly thinking that I would be let go, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a tiny part of me that thought it had I not shown significant progress when the new year rolls around. Again, that was a part of the negative self-talk I discussed, and how it has been holding me down as I try to adapt to a new place. But little things like that connection request really show me I belong here; that they see me sticking around for some time.
As I mentioned, a lot of people who start new jobs go through that tough phase early on as to whether they feel they’re a right fit for the company or if they can do the tasks well. I went through that and, though I’m still “learning”, I’m getting more confident and being more of myself. I guess with everything going on around me, and the new reality soon setting in, I think I was struggling with the acceptance of it. Struggling with the coping of what might seem to be me being alone more often than I want. But as I said, there’s volunteer activities, my coworkers said there’s some free things to do in town, and with a new car means I can road trip wherever the heck I want. I’m feeling better about it, and at least I’ll have my hammock too. The stand came in, so I just have to wait for it to be brought up here. Today, my coworkers and I went out for happy hour again. It was at a little spanish food place, and the food was pretty good. I had one drink and, maybe because I hardly ate all day, but I felt that drink taking a small effect on me. So believe me when I say I ate quite a bit of nachos and my quesadillas. I was fine by the end, but the last thing I need is for my coworkers to see tipsy Steven. At least not this early on while I try to get to know them! But honestly, it was another fun night with them; just laughing and talking about random things. Like I said, 6 months from now, I could be looking back to this beginning and laugh at how worried I was. Slowly, but surely, I see myself breaking through and growing closer to the folks I work with. Little moments like tonight’s happy hour truly make a difference. Always be mindful of such moments, because growing closer to others isn’t a big thing. . . it’s a million little things.