My last post had such hope and optimism that things were turning for the better. Things can change quickly in life, and it can completely catch you off guard. That happened Monday morning as I arrived to work, and all appeared to be normal. But then a stranger came into my office, and wanted a word with me. I was in denial that this couldn’t be “the talk”, except it was and I’m disappointingly here to tell you all that I was let go from my job.
As the news pinged deeper into my ears, I was actually calm about it. In older posts, I was anxious about the worst coming true that I sort of braced for it. Even though things were getting better, or so I thought, I still had that brace in the back of my mind; knowing I was far from being out of the woods. Then reality set in that I was being let go literally a day before my birthday, which is today, and also the same day my father has his surgery. To give y’all an update on that, the surgery has finished and doctors are sending a sample to be tested. It should take a few days, while my dad will stay at the hospital. My mother worries as it feels the family just keeps taking hit after hit.
Ever since I had the interview for this job, so much tragedy and tribulations followed suit. And yet, we pushed forward. I pushed forward despite days where I did wonder how long would I last here. I can’t stress enough, the city, the people, the work environment was all okay. It was the tasks itself, and as months passed I self-reflected if this is what I actually want to do. You already know if I had it my way, my “dream job” would be to simply be paid to travel. We all wish that, and there are those who live that dream; though we might not always see them on TV or online. But for my “realistic dream-ish job”, I did think this would be it upon leaving grad school.
But life is about experiences. It’s one thing to read about something from a book or online, and it’s entirely different to actually do it. I thought being an astronaut would be cool, which it still is! But besides exploring space, there is so much engineering and other STEM features that my brain can handle. And even though I have thought about what else I can see myself doing, reality has now set in and I must figure that question out. Of all days, though, to be let go yesterday was poor timing; today would’ve been the absolute worst.
Many of us have been through this, and so starts the moving-on process. Despite my inner-sleuth wanting to uncover the answers as to how long ago was this decision made, why was I led to believe things were good, and so on, sometimes questions are better left unanswered. Simply learning from it, cherishing the good memories, and picking up the pieces to build a new, stronger self is all we can do. Since I sort of prepared for it weeks ago, I hold no anger or deep sadness about it. I’m still shocked it happened, and upset about the timing, but in a way it’s a relief knowing I have my answer to whether I will sink or swim. And the friends that know about this have been so supportive. Even before this happened, everyone kept telling me “there’s no way they expect you to know all of this in a couple of months!”. Maybe they did, but if so then perhaps that isn’t the ideal setting for me.
Here in the U.S., we can be so career-focused and wanting results now. I’m sure it partly is the same abroad, yet when I look at places like Europe I see more of a laid-back atmosphere that encourages enjoying life. I mean, in Spain they take siestas! That’s not a reason why I want to go there, but that’s nice to keep in mind. Of course, now that I’m a free agent I have, once again, considered life abroad. My mind never stops creatively analyzing and thinking. If only advertising or marketing companies would give me a chance, they would love my ideas. However, I don’t anticipate much traction for new jobs at the moment since it is winter holiday coming up.
I do need to resolve my apartment issue, though, and decide if I want a job in the new city still or come back home. Yes, I did just say abroad but for now (and realistically) I will probably focus closer to home, and deal with my lease before considering running off to a far away land. I’m now 28, and this has been possibly the worst birthday I’ve ever had. As 2019 approaches it’s end, ever since summer faded, life has not been kind to me. But perhaps this rocky ending to my job and year could be a blessing in disguise. Maybe 2020 will lead the way to something I’m meant to be doing, or adventures I should be on. I don’t know, but I’m trying to look at this optimistically. The waiting will be miserable, as I once again will wonder what I will be doing next. Through it all, though, my friends and family have been there. As have you my global friends. Perhaps your in the same boat as me, whether it’s family medical issues or getting let go/jobless or like my friend who recently broke up. You’re not alone, and things will get better. For now, I will just keep my chin up, gather the pieces, try to enjoy this holiday break, and carry on this road as chapter 28 has officially begun. . .