Good news: my dad doesn’t have cancer! The results came back today, so that was a huge relief to hear. But they do suspect it could be something with his blood, so once again he’ll have to go in for more testing. As for my illness, it feels a little better today. Yesterday, my left side of my face was hurting a bit. I’m pretty sure I had a minor case of sinus infection, but today it’s just congestion. I have tonight and tomorrow to heal up as best as I can. Saturday, and maybe Sunday, I’m supposed to see my friends and hang out. The last thing I want is to spread this to them. However, I do hope everyone’s holidays have been going well so far.
Christmas, itself, was ho-hum as usual here. A few Christmas movies, and a few gifts, were the highlights. I usually abhor the quiet Christmas’, but with all that transpired before yesterday I honestly didn’t mind it this year. Calmness, quiet, escape. So now the music has stopped. The awkward few days until the new year rings in have begun. It reminds me of when I was about to finish senior year of high school or university. The extreme eagerness to just get it over with, so you can graduate and begin a new chapter. Except I won’t be graduating, rather moving on from these past several months. Once again, a new chapter begins.
I still don’t know what exactly my next steps will be. At least I can update my resume, while I look. I just pray it won’t be another year and a half before I find other work. The fantasies of going airborne continue. I absolutely love puzzles. I have a knack for solving them, even if I initially struggle to understand. The same applied to people as I get to know them, and try to solve their issues. That can be difficult at times, but the rewards are worth it. Yet that puzzle, that is known as travel, has been the greatest puzzle I cannot seem to solve. Y’all know the months of struggle it took for me just to get a passport. I finally went travelling, but to Florida while my eyes are set on the world.
Of course, there are answers that I avoid that which make it difficult. Ones such as teaching abroad, travel writing, au pair, etc. are choices I could do. But some are not “career” opportunities, and all are ones that I will not have much support from family and friends. There’s also the money situation, especially since I still have to pay off the apartment. Back to the support, the struggle of being okay with me living in a far away place on my own scares them. Not so much that I can’t do it, but moreso that perhaps I get mistreated or worse. But that can still occur here, too, and so just normalizing that there’s risk everywhere it’s just a matter of taking precautions. Easier said than done, but these are things I will continue reflecting. For now, getting better and enjoying the weekend with friends is all that matters. . .